What’s Wrong With Me?

Not so much if you look like this and are living in western countries. You will even see women who look like this grace the covers of famous magazines. Sure, there are many people out there who are still racist against dark brown skin and “African” features. But the racism of the West is out matched by that of the East.

At least in America there was a “Black is Beautiful” ideal that was pushed that helped to give women who look like this, or anything similar to it, a chance to be recognized as beautiful. But what happens to the women in the east who look like this even if their hair is somewhat straight?

They end up hating themselves and using skin lighteners to cover up their beauty because that is the only solution they think they have. Most likely there is nothing in their upbringing nor their societal environments that will foster any sort of self love for the rare beauty they possess.

It is so sad that these women feel they can never be deemed as beautiful simply because of their skin tones and hair textures. Sad but true. Many eastern women with any of these features, especially the skin tone, are ostracized and treated badly, even within their own families.

But wait, we cannot ignore that indeed there is a problem with this concept in the west as well. Let no one deny this. Most often a women who looks like this will be more often denied for employment even though she may be qualified. She will be told that her hair is “unprofessional” because only long, flowing and straight hair is acceptable. A woman who looks like this may even have a problem finding a spouse. This is because even the men of her own race have been brainwashed into hating themselves even though they will one day father daughters who look like them.

Even Muslim women from the west suffer from this phenomenon. Many times, women with more African features in skin tone and in hair still try to mask the beauty of their hair with chemicals. I am all for doing what is permissible to achieve beauty. But first of all, what is beauty and how do we identify it as such? Who defined the beauty standards that we so often adopt as our own?

Why do many Muslim women with curly hair cover their heads in preservation of beauty yet poison their scalps and rip out their hair due to overly using chemical straighteners that undoubtedly cause damage? As soon as you see “the bump”, better known as new growth, you run to slap on the latest round of chemicals. What are you really trying to hide? I thought Muslim women no longer had anything to prove to anyone. I thought we could be at peace with what Allah has given us. I thought we could be happy with ourselves because we are not on display to be judged by the masses.

So what makes so many women do it then? I mean, I understand if that is how many women grew up. Then texturizing their hair is as natural as breathing. It is simply a no brainer. But what happened to growing up and becoming a free thinking adult who tries to make better choices in life; healthier choices even?

Who are the Muslim women in the west who chemically treat their hair and or use skin lighteners trying to compete with now? Surely it is no longer the White woman because as we all know, there aren’t very many White female Muslimaat out there. So who has the competition been shifted to? The answer is the Arab woman. The problem with that is that many Arab women chemically treat their hair and bleach their skin as well. Their beauty shelves are lined with the same texturizers that the ones in the west are lined with. So why would they be an object of competition in the first place?

I know what it is; it’s fear. There is a real fear that their husbands won’t think they are pretty if their hair is curly or kinky rather than straight and flowing. There is a fear that their husbands will drop them and pick a woman who has more European features yet from an exotic land. We have truly forgotten that Allah creates beauty in all things. If one man doesn’t like it, the next one will. But if you don’t love yourself, then how can someone else?

This isn’t about encouraging women to start “running around with nappy heads”. It is about embracing the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you. If anyone wants to chemically treat their hair, then go for it. But you should at least understand the reasons why you are doing it and educate yourselves about the risks. And know that your reasons for doing it more than likely stretch way beyond making your hair more “manageable” because all hair is manageable if you are educated about how to maintain it. You will never know if you don’t try. Give your beauty a chance to shine through.

Sisters with brown skin and curly, kinky, coily hair! Know that you are beautiful. Your skin and your hair is beautiful and very unique. Don’t hate yourself because you will undoubtedly transfer that self hatred to your daughters who will one day oppress their own as you did to them aforetime. Tell your daughters they are gorgeous. Tell your sons they are handsome. Tell your daughters that people with curly hair are special because this hair could only come from Allah. Just tell them they are beautiful.

Protective Hair Styling: Wet Bunning

Wet bunning is my favorite protective hair style. I never knew it was a protective hair style. I grew up with my Mom putting my hair in a bun after she applied moisturizer to my hair. Even when my hair was texturized I used to keep my hair in a bun. My hair grows great like this. I never had a problem retaining and achieving length by giving my hair a break from excessive combing and brushing.

When I want to put my hair in a bun, I spritz it with my spray bottle mixture then I apply leave-in conditioner (my favorite is Shea Moisture). I make sure my hair is damp but not dripping wet (it’s winter time after all). I comb my hair out with a wide tooth come and then I brush in all back locking it into place with seamless hair bands. Sometimes I may apply a bit on Eco Styler on my edges to prevent fly aways. Then I am done. My hair is moisturized and protected.

Hair Regimen: Deep Conditioning

I have a regimen that really works for my hair. If I need to deep condition my hair, I apply Nature’s Therapy Biotanical Hot Oil. Then along with that, I add Jamaican Black Castor Oil. I massage both oils into my hair and then I apply a cholesterol treatment of my choice (sometimes I make my own). Last week, I used Lustrasilk’s Shea Butter Cholesterol with mango. After I ensure all of my hair is coated, I apply a plastic wrap to my hair for an hour.

I know that the cholesterol brands tell you to wash your hair with shampoo before applying them. But as most women with curly hair know, you usually have to find the ways that each product works best for your hair. I found that when I do this deep conditioning method that my hair is left very clean as well as moisturized and conditioned. Shampoo is not my friend. My hair feels very stripped after just one use and I am left to try to rebuild the moisture in my hair. I know that is the point of shampoo; to strip the hair of oils as well as dirt and debris but my hair doesn’t like it so much so I use other ways to achieve the same outcome which is clean healthy hair.

After I wash the deep conditioning treatment out of my hair, I co-wash with Biotera Ultra Conditioning treatment. This conditioner is comparable to the professional Biolage line. I really like this conditioner and it makes my hair uber soft even when used by itself. (purchased it from Sally’s Beauty Supply for $8 for a 33.8 oz bottle. It was a great deal.) I co-wash leaving the conditioner on my hair for half an hour. After that, I wash it out and wow my hair is super soft!! My hair is clean yet moisturized. I use this routine once per week to maintain my curly hair!

Riding the Waves of Life

The Hijri year 1430 was filled with a lot of lessons learned and refining challenges for me. Hence the entire Miladi year 2009 was filled with no less than that. As Allah has allowed me to continue to live in 1431/2010, I have taken with me wisdom that I would have never obtained otherwise.

It is so funny how the human mind works. We think we know something and sometimes that may be true. But the test comes in experiencing it first hand. Some people break under the pressures that their lives present. I don’t think anyone who has lived long enough will deny that life has a way of pushing you to the edge sometimes. But we have to try to continue to make it through to the other side.

So many times, due to ignorance no doubt, I have looked at different situations that I have come into contact with and made a snap judgment about what I would and wouldn’t do. I really, really learned this past year that a person really can’t know what they will do until they are living in the situation. For example, we all know that it is incumbent upon a Muslim women to cover herself in a modest manner. Because we know this, it can cause us to come down hard on sisters who do not when we are not totally clear on what is going on in their lives that is causing them to make other decisions. Because of this, we are unsupportive and cold we when should be just the opposite. We are so quick to snap to what we think we would do if we were faced with the same situation. In actuality, we don’t know what we would do.

May Allah protect us all allahumma ameen. But I can’t say that I would continue to be strong on wearing hijab, for example, if I had to go out and work after being a SAHM for 15 years. I can’t say that I would remain steadfast in my Deen if I needed help from my community and they continually turned their backs on me. ‘Authubillahi min thaalik. Unfortunately, many of us out there are facing these types of issues on a daily basis. Instead of us helping our brethren out of bad situations so that they can remain steadfast upon this Deen, we talk about them and push them away with advise that is neither practical nor realistic. We are so quick to judge. And because of this, we push many of our brothers and sisters away.

Many times, especially in this last year, I needed help. I just needed a like minded person to talk things through with. I needed someone to try to understand. I needed to know what I was wrong in and what I was right in. But the reality is that everyone else, for the most part, are busy fighting their own battles with little or no help as well. So they don’t have time to help you because they are barely holding on themselves. It is so sad but true.

Eventually, I found out what worked for me. I found out what I needed to know. In riding the waves of life, you maybe able to stand up when some waves hit and other times you may fall or stumble. With every wave there is a lesson to be learned; a piece of wisdom to be received. I only hope, inshaAllah, that after each wave hits that I still have the strength to stand up.

I’m Sorry…

I really had better intentions when I began this blog. I was super excited to have a place to express my ideas, thoughts and interests. In doing so, I already realized the harsh realities of the blogosphere; a person really isn’t as free as one may think to express themselves. You always have people lurking in the background combing over everything you say or do. So with knowing that, I still wanted to blog, but I hated the fact of feeling that I can’t really say exactly what I want to say. Aside from those who may have a problem with my religious beliefs (which is to be expected), there are those who share it who have a bigger problem with their fellow co-religists do online. Of course we have to advise each other in the best way. Not just because we are concerned about what non-Muslims are going to think or say. And definitely not because we have our own “hidden agendas” which cause some of us to trample each other in order to reach our goals. All of this makes me uneasy. It makes me feel like I am confined to some sort of box.

I am a very expressive person. Some things that happen to me or others around me I think would really help other people out there. If only I could tell the stories though. If only I could feel safe in being open enough to express myself. I would have so much more on this blog. I love my blog, but I had to abandon it for a minute to ride the waves of life. I hope inshaAllah to be able to write more in the future about life in general. I love getting the feedback, the positive but not necessary agreeing feedback from others out there just like me. I know I never had a huge readership. But for now, I am back on the blog scene!!

Muslimah Sukhnah

Best Times to make Dua (Supplication)

There are certain times dua (supplication) is more likely to be accepted by Allah (SWT) as mentioned by Prophet (SAW). These times are as follows:

1. The Last Third Of The Night

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: ‘In the last third of every night our Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) (Allah (SWT)) descends to the lowermost heaven and says; “Who is calling Me, so that I may answer him? Who is asking Me so that may I grant him? Who is seeking forgiveness from Me so that I may forgive him?.”‘ [Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith Qudsi]

Amr ibn Absah narrated that the Prophet said: ‘The closest any worshipper can be to His Lord is during the last part of the night, so if you can be amongst those who remember Allah at that time, then do so.’[at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa'i, al-Hakim - Sahih]

2. Late at night

When people are sleeping and busy with worldly pleasures Allah (SWT) gives the believers an opportunity, or an answer hour if they can fight sleep and invoke Allah (SWT) for whatever they need. The Prophet (SAW) said: ‘There is at night an hour, no Muslim happens to be asking Allah any matter of this world or the Hereafter, except that he will be given it, and this (occurs) every night.’
[Muslim #757]

3. Between Adhan and Iqamah

Anas (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: ‘A supplication made between the Adhan and Iqama is not rejected.’
[Ahmad, abu Dawud #521, at-Tirmidhi #212, Sahih al-Jami #3408, an-Nasai and Ibn Hibban graded it sahih (sound)]

4. An Hour On Friday

Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): Allah’s Messenger (SAW) talked about Friday and said: ‘There is an hour on Friday and if a Muslim gets it while offering Salat (prayer) and asks something from Allah (SWT), then Allah (SWT) will definitely meet his demand.’ And he (the Prophet (SAW) pointed out the shortness of that particular time with his hands.[Sahih al-Bukhari]

Some have said that this hour is from the time the Imam (prayer’s leader) enters the mosque on Friday’s prayer until the prayer is over (ie between the two khutbahs), whereas others have said that it is the last hour of the day (ie after the Asr prayer until the Maghrib prayer).

5. While Drinking Zamzam Water

Jaber (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: ‘Zamzam water is for what it is drunk for.’ [Ahmad 3: 357 and Ibn Majah #3062]. This means that when you drink Zamzam water you may ask Allah (SWT) for anything you like to gain or benefit from this water such as healing from illness…. etc.

6. While Prostrating

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW), said: ‘The nearest a slave can be to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so invoke (supplicate) Allah (SWT) much in it. [Muslim, abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i and others, Sahih al-Jami #1175]

When a Muslim is in his Salat (prayer) he is facing Allah (SWT) and when he prostrates he is the nearest he can be to Allah (SWT) so it is best to invoke Allah (SWT) at this time. It is said that while in prostration, one should not ask for worldy needs (ie a nice car, a new job, etc), but for the Hereafter.

7. When Waking Up at Night

Narrated Ubada Bin As-Samit that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: ‘Whomever wakes up at night and says La ilaha illallahu wahdahu la shrika lahu lahulmulku, wa lahul hamdu, wa huwa ala kulli shai’in qadir. Alhamdu lillahi, wa subhanallahi wa la ilaha illallahu, wallah akbir, wa la hawla wala quwata illa billah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allah (SWT) He is the only one who has no partners. His is the kingdom and all the praises are for Allah (SWT) All the glories are for Allah (SWT) And none has the right to be worshipped but Allah (SWT) and Allah (SWT) is the most Great and there is neither might nor power except with Allah (SWT) and then says, Allahumma ighfir li (O Allah! Forgive me) or invokes Allah (SWT), he will be responded to and if he makes ablution and performs Salat (prayer), his Salat (prayer) will be accepted. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

8. At The End Of The Obligatory Salat:

Narrated Abu Omamah (RA): that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) was asked, O Messenger of Allah, which supplication is heard (by Allah (SWT), he said the end of the night and at the end of the obligatory Salat (prayer) [at-Tirmidhi] . This time is after saying ‘At-tahyat’ , and before making Tasleem (finishing prayer)

9. The Night Of ‘Qadr’ (Decree)

This night is the greatest night of the year. This is the night which the almighty Allah (SWT) said about it, “The night of Al-Qadar (Decree) is better than a thousand months.” [Surah al-Qadr, 97: 3]

The Night of Decree is one of the odd nights of the last ten nights of the blessed month of Ramadan. The angels descend down to the earth, and the earth is overwhelmed with peace and serenity until the break of dawn and when he doors of Paradise are opened, the worshipper is encouraged to turn to Allah to ask for his needs for this world and the Hereafter.

10. During The Rain

Narrated Sahel Ibn Sa’ad (RA): that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: ‘Two will not be rejected, Supplication when the Adhan (call of prayer) is being called, and at the time of the rain’. [Al-Hakim 2: 114, and Abu Dawud #2540, ibn Majah]

‘Seek the response to your du’as when the armies meet, and the prayer is called, and when rain falls’ [reported by Imam al-Shafi' in al-Umm, al-Sahihah #1469]. The time of the rain is a time of mercy from Allah (SWT) so, one should take advantage of this time when Allah (SWT) is having mercy on His slaves.

11. At the Adhan

‘Seek the response to your du’as when the armies meet, and the prayer is called, and when rain falls’ [reported by Imam al-Shafi' in al-Umm, al-Sahihah #1469]

In another hadith; ‘When the prayer is called, the doors of the skies are opened, and the du’a is answered’ [al-Tayalisi in his Musnad #2106, al-Sahihah #1413]

12. The One Who Is Suffering Injustice and Opression

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to Mua’ad Ibn Jabal (RA), ‘Beware of the supplication of the unjustly treated, because there is no shelter or veil between it (the supplication of the one who is suffering injustice) and Allah (SWT)’ [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The prophet (SAW) declared, ‘Three men whose dua is never rejected (by Allah) are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.’[Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

In another hadith; The Prophet (SAW) declared: ‘Three du’as are surely answered: The du’a of the oppressed, the du’a of the traveler, and the du’a of the father/mother (upon their child)’. The One who is suffering injustice is heard by Allah (SWT) when he invokes Allah (SWT) to retain his rights from the unjust one or oppressor. Allah (SWT) has sworn to help the one who is suffering from injustice sooner or later as the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said.

13. The Traveler

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (SWT)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveler. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

During travel supplication is heard by Allah (SWT) if the trip is for a good reason, but if the trip is for a bad intention or to perform illegal things (making sins) this will not apply to it.

14. The Parent’s Supplication for their Child

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (SWT)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveler. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

15. Dua after praising Allah and giving salat on the Prophet (SAW) in the tashahhud at the end of salat.

Narrated Faddalah ibn Ubayd (RA): that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: ‘When anyone of you makes du’a, let him start by glorifying his Lord and praising Him, then let him send blessings upon the Prophet (SAW), then let him pray for whatever he wants’
[abu Dawud #1481, at-Tirmidhi #3477]

In another hadith; Baqiy ibn Mukhallid (RA) narrated that that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: ‘Every du’a is not responded to until one sends blessings upon the Prophet (SAW)’ [al-Bayhaqi]

In another hadith; Umar (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: ‘Du’a is detained between the heavens and the earth and no part of it is taken up until you send blessings upon your Prophet (SAW)’ [at-Tirmidhi #486]

After a person has finished his tashahhud and before saying the ’salam’, supplication at this time is one likely to be responded to.
Ibn Mas’ud narrates: I was once praying, and the Prophet (SAW), Abu Bakr and Umar (were all present). When I sat down (in the final tashahhud), I praised Allah, then sent salams on the Prophet, then started praying for myself. At this, the Prophet (SAW) said:
‘Ask, and you shall be given it! Ask, and you shall be given it!’ [at-Tirmidhi #593 - hasan, Mishkat al-Misbah #931]

16. The dua of a Muslim for his absent brother or sister Muslim stemming from the heart.

The prophet (SAW) said: ‘There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother in his absence where the angels do not say, ‘the same be for you” [Muslim]

17. Dua on the Day of Arafat

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: ‘The best supplication is the supplication on the day of Arafat’. [at-Tirmidhi and Malik]

The day of Arafat is the essence and pinnacle of Hajj. On this great and momentous day, millions of worshippers gather together on one plain, from every corner of the world, with only one purpose in mind – to respone to the call of their Creator. During this auspicious day, Allah does not refuse the requests of His worshippers.

18. Dua during the month of Ramadan

Ramadan is month full of many blessings, thus the du’a of Ramadan is a blessed one. This can be inferred from the Prophet (SAW) saying: ‘When Ramadan comes, the Doors of Mercy (another narration says Paradise) are opened, and the doors of Hell are closed, and the Shaitans are locked up’ Thus, it is clear that du’a during Ramadan has a greater chance of being accepted, as the Gates of Paradise and Mercy are opened. [Sahih al-Bukhari #1899, Muslim #1079 and others]

19. Dua when the Armies meet

When the Muslim is facing the enemy in battle, at this critical period, the du’a of a worshipper is accepted.

Sahl ibn Sa’d (RA) narrtaed the the Prophet (SAW) said: ‘Two duas are never rejected, or rarely rejected: the du’a during the call for prayer, and the du’a during the clamity when the two armies attack each other’ [Abu Dawud #2540, ibn Majah, al-Hakim]

20. When Muslims gather for the purpose of invoking and remembering Allah (Dhikrullah) .

The Prophet (SAW) said: If a group of people sit together remembering Allah, the angels will circle them, mercy will shroud them, peace will descend onto them and Allah will remember them among those with Him. [Muslim]

21. First Ten days of Dhul-Hijjah

The Prophet (SAW) said: ‘There are no days during which good deeds are more beloved to Allah than during these ten days’
[Sahih al-Bukhai #969 and others]

22. Dua when the heart reaches out to Allah and is ready to be totally sincere

23. At Midnight

Abu Umamah (RA) said, the Prophet (SAW) was questioned; ‘Which du’a is heard (by Allah)?’ He answered, ‘At midnight and at the end of every obligatory prayer.’ [at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

25. Dua of people after the death of a person

In a long hadith, Umm Salamah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said, when Abu Salamah had just passed away, and had closed his eyes, ‘Do not ask for yourselves anything but good, for the angels will say ‘Ameen’ to all that you ask for. O Allah, forgive Abu Salamah, and raise his ranks among those who are guided.’ [Muslim, abu Dawud, Ahmad]

26. Dua of the one fasting until he breaks his fast.

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (SWT)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveler. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

27. Dua of the one fasting at the time of breaking fast

The prophet (SAW) declared, ‘Three men whose dua is never rejected (by Allah) are: when a fasting person breaks fast (in another narration, the fasting person until he breaks his fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.’[Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

29. Dua of a just Ruler

The prophet (SAW) declared, ‘Three men whose dua is never rejected (by Allah) are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.’[Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

30. Dua of a son or daughter obedient to his or her parents

It is well known in the story narrated in hadith os three men who were trapped by a huge stone in a cave. One of them who was kind to kis parents asked Allah to remove the stone, and his du’a was answered. [Sahih al-Bukhari 3:36 #472]

31. Dua immediately after wudu

Umar ibn Al-Khattab reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: ‘There is not one of you that makes wudu, and does it perfectly, then says: I testify that there is no diety worthy of worship except Allah. he is Alone, having no partners. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and messenger’, except that the eight gates of Paradise are opened for him, and he can enter into it through whichever one he pleases’ [Muslim #234, abu Dawud #162, Ahmad, an-Nasa'i] Saying what has been mentioned in the hadith that is directly related to it (ablution)

32. Dua after stoning the Jamarat at Hajj

The stoning of the small Shaitan (jamrat sugra), or the middle Shaitan (jamrat wusta) pillars during Hajj. It is narrated that the Prophet (SAW) would stone the small Jamarah (one of the three pillars that is stoned in the last days of Hajj), then face the qiblah, raise his hands, and make du’a for a long time. He would then stone the middle Jamarah and do the same. When he stoned the large Jamarah, he would depart without making any du’a. [Sahih al-Bukhari #1753 and others]

33. At the Crowing of a Rooster

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: ‘When you hear a rooster crowing, then ask Allah for His bounties, for it has seen an angel, and when you hear a donkey braying, then seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan, for it has seen a Shaitan’ [Sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Sahih al-Jami #611]

34. Du’a made inside the Ka’bah

The Ka’bah is a sanctuary that has no comparison in the entire world. The du’a of one who prays inside the hijr is considered as being made inside the ka’bah, as it is part of the house (Baitullah). [This is the semicircle to the right of the Ka'bah if you face the door, opposite to the Yemeni corner and the Black stone wall.]

Usamah ibn Zayd narrated, ‘When the Prophet (SAW) entered the House (Ka’bah), he made du’a in all of its corners [Muslim 2: 968 and others]

35. Du’a on the mount of Safa or Marwah during Umrah or Hajj

It is narrated that the Prophet (SAW) would make long du’as at Safa and Marwah. [Muslim #1218 and others]

36. Dua at any of the holy sites.

37. While reciting Surah al-Fatihah

The Prophet (SAW) said that Allah the Exalted had said: ‘ I have divided the prayer into two halves between Me and My servant, and My servant will receive what he asks for. When the servant says: Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the universe, Allah the Most High says: My servant has praised Me. And when he (the servant) says: The Most Compassionate, the Merciful, Allah the Most High says: My servant has lauded Me. When he (the servant) says: Master of the Day of Judgment, He remarks: My servant has glorified Me, and sometimes He will say: My servant entrusted (his affairs) to Me. When he (the worshipper) says: Thee do we worship and of Thee do we ask help, He (Allah) says: This is between Me and My servant, and My servant will receive what he asks for. Then, when he (the worshipper) says: Guide us to the straight path, the path of those to whom Thou hast been Gracious — not of those who have incurred Thy displeasure, nor of those who have gone astray, He (Allah) says: This is for My servant, and My servant will receive what he asks for. [Muslim 4: 395]

38. Saying ‘Ameen’ during prayer

After finishing the recitation of al-Fatihah, the saying of’Ameen’ in congregation. The Prophet (SAW) said: ‘When the Imam says ‘Ameen’, then recite it behind him (as well), because whoever’s Ameen coincides with the Ameen of the angels will have all of his sins forgiven.’ [Sahih al-Bukhari #780, Muslim #410 and others]

39. While visiting the sick, and dua made by the sick

Umm Salamah narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: ‘When you visit the sick, or the dead then say good, because the angels say ‘Ameen’ to whatever you say [Muslim #2126]

Ali (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: ‘When a Muslim visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the evening. And when he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the morning, and he will be granted a garden for it in Jannah.’
[at-Tirmidhi, abu Dawud]

Calorie Reduced Chocolate Chip Cookies

Lower Calorie Chocolate Chip Cookies (Ok Not Really)

1 Cup All Purpose Flour

1/2 Teaspoon Baking Powder

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1 Cup of Light Brown Sugar

I Cup of Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips (You could use sugar free chocolate chips)

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 Stick of Cream Butter: Sit it out for a few hours so it can become soft (I use Land O Lakes)

1 Egg

Method:

Preheat your oven to 375 Degrees

Mix all the dry ingredients together then add your butter, egg and vanilla extract.

Mix well till you achieve a cookie dough mixture.

Spray your cookie sheet with a non caloric butter spray. (I used “I can’t believe it’s not butter”.)

Spoon cookies onto the cookie sheet making eighteen (18) cookie drops.

Bake cookies for 8-11 minutes.

Remove cookies from the oven and allow them to cook at least two minutes

Enjoy!

Facilitating The Opportunities For The Female Du’aat

Shaykh Abdul-Azeez ibn Baaz

Reference: Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn Baaz: Vol: 7/P: 325-326

Category: Women’s Matters

Is there any way to facilitate the opportunities [for Da’wah] for the female callers to Allaah Subhaanahu wa ta’aala?

I do not know of anything that should prevent this. Whenever there is a woman present who is qualified to give Da’wah to Allaah Subhaanahu, she should be aided and it should be requested of her to direct/provide guidance to women because they are in need of female advisors/guiders of their own kind.

The presence of a female caller amongst women may be more beneficial in conveying the Da’wah to the path of the truth [to them] than a man. A woman maybe too shy to tell a man about the issues that concern her, or there may be something that prevents her from listening to the Da’wah from a man, but this is not the case when she is with a female caller because she mixes with her, relates to her what she is concerned with and she is also affected by a female caller more [than a man].

So it is imperative upon those who have knowledge from amongst the women to perform what is Waajib (compulsory) upon them in relation to Da’wah and directing [other women] to everything that is good according to the best of their abilities, as Allaah ‘Az wa Jal says:

{Invite/call (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islaam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Quraan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better.} [An Nahl/175]

He also says:

{Say (O Muhammad ): “This is my way; I invite/call to Allaah (i.e. to the Oneness of Allaah – Islaamic Monotheism) with sure knowledge, I and whosoever follows me..} [Yusuf/108]

He says as well:

{And who is better in speech than he who invites/calls to Allaah (Islaamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: “I am one of the Muslims.} [Fussilat/33]

And His saying:

{So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can…} [At Taghaabun/16]

The verses of this meaning are plentiful and they are general to both men and women and Allaah is the granter of success.

Translator: Na.dir Ah.mad, Abu Abdul-Waa.hid
Date Published: Tuesday, 31 May 2005

The Levels of Envy

1. From them is the one who exerts effort to remove the blessings of the person who is envied by way of transgression upon him with statements and actions. Then from these people are those who exert themselves in an effort to acquire what has been removed from the person against who was transgressed.

2. From them is the one who restricts his efforst to removing the blessings of the person who he envies without acquiring anything from him. This is the more evil and despicable of the two. This blameowrth evil is prohibited.

3. Another group from amongst the people, if they happen to envy another person, they do not act in accordance with their envy. These people do not transgress against the person who is envied by the way of their statements or actions.

4. Another group of people, if they find within themselves envy, they strive hard to remove it with kindness to the one whom they have envied by initiating goodness towards him and supplicating for him, and spreading news of his good qualities. They do all of this in an effort to remove what they found in themselves of envy until this envy eventually changes because of their desire to be a better Muslim. This is from the highest degrees of belief and the possessor of this is a complete believer who loves for his brother what he loves for himself.

Umm ‘Abdillah al-Waadi’iyyah
Naseehatee Lin Nisaa- My Advice to the Women
Pgs 250-251

Banana Olive Hair Treatment

Banana Olive Hair Treatment

Blend 1 banana with 1/3 cup of cold pressed extra virgin olive oil.
Shampoo and rinse your hair.
Towel dry.
Apply on your slightly damp hair. Especially on the ends.
Wrap your hair with a plastic wrap.
Leave it on 30 minutes to an hour or so.
Remove the plastic wrap
Rinse your hair.
If you find it too oily, shampoo once and rinse off again.
Add 1 tablespoon cider vinegar and 1 drop of lavender oil to 3 cups of water.
Pour the lavender cider vinegar water over your hair as the final rinse, for shiny hair.
Wrap hair in a fluffy towel to dry.

Recipe taken from a Woman’s Heart newsletter.
And from Banana.Com: ‘Arabian slave traders are credited with giving the banana its popular name. The bananas that were growing in Africa as well as Southeast Asia were not the eight-to-twelve-inch giants that have become familiar in the U.S. supermarkets today. They were small, about as long as a man’s finger. Ergo the name “banan”, ‘Arabic for finger.

Nutritional Benefits of Bananas

Because of their impressive potassium content, bananas are highly recommended by doctors for patients whose potassium is low. One large banana, about 9 inches in length, packs 602 mg of potassium and only carries 140 calories. That same large banana even has 2 grams of protein and 4 grams of fiber. No wonder the banana was considered an important food to boost the health of malnourished children! Those reducing sodium in their diets can’t go wrong with a banana with its mere 2 mgs of sodium. For the carbohydrate counters there are 36 grams of carbs in a large banana.

Vitamins and minerals are abundant in the banana, offering 123 I.U. of vitamin A for the large size. A full range of B vitamins are present with .07 mg of Thiamine, .15 mg of Riboflavin, .82 mg Niacin, .88 mg vitamin B6, and 29 mcg of Folic Acid. There are even 13.8 mg of vitamin C. On the mineral scale Calcium counts in at 9.2 mg, Magnesium 44.1 mg, with trace amounts of iron and zinc.

Putting all of the nutritional figures together clearly shows the banana is among the healthiest of fruits. The plantain, when cooked, rates slightly higher on the nutritional scale in vitamins and minerals but similar to the banana in protein and fiber content.

Interesting Comments and Conversations

Sometimes while I am out taking care of business people become “inspired” to make comments either to me or about me. Sometimes I even run into the brave soul who is totally unopposed to striking up a conversation with me. Alhamdullilah, the comments are sometimes rude and sometimes they are very nice. I am not a loud and obnoxious person so I ignore the ignorant comments and smile at the nice ones. Most often if someone wants to strike up a conversation with me it is because of their curiosity about Islaam and or Muslim women.

Within the last few weeks, I have run into a few interesting comments and one conversation that left the individual thinking. The first comment happened while I was out shopping with my family. A small boy, was asking his Grandmother what we were wearing and why we were wearing it. She responded to him quite matter of fact by telling him that they are their clothes. Frustrated with his Grandmother’s response, the boy started telling her how he didn’t like our clothes. The Grandmother responded by telling him that they (meaning me and my family) don’t like his clothes either. This was obviously a conversation that the two of them had at a bit of distance away from us. The Grandmother never said a word to us but I was happy she corrected her Grandson because often times guardians let their children make rude comments and they do not help them understand the reasons why other people may be different than them. Those children will undoubtedly grow up having a sense of fear regarding anything or anyone different than their ownselves. This fear will most certainly turn into hate as time goes on. ‘Authubillahi min thaalik.

The second occurrence was a few days ago when I had to dash out to get some needed supplies for my home. I went right into the store, got what I needed and quickly got in line. I was standing behind two women who were engaging in friendly conversation with the cashier. I stood there quietly and patiently as they completed their purchase. I heard the cashier say something to one of the ladies but I thought that maybe I could have heard her wrong. She said she doesn’t know how or why people come into the store with “rags on their faces”. SubhanaAllah. I was like, “Is this lady serious?!” Up until that time, I had never received a rude comment from a women. They usually are nice or they are just so out done by how I dress that they just move along quickly. I thought about making a complaint to the manager then I realized that that would accomplish nothing. Most everyone in that store probably feels the same way but aren’t bold enough to say it so what kind of a help would me complaining really be? I already know people have a problem in general with the way I dress. It’s fine with me because this is a free country. Gotta love it right? MashaAllah, I just let it slide. She rung up my order without a hello or anything. I didn’t say anything to her either. I don’t have time for drama nor do I have time to try and appease people who would much rather continue being ignorant.

While shopping this morning, I ran into another conversation. I was on the oral hygiene aisle trying to decide if the twin pack of Crest was a better deal than the two single tubes. I was kneeling down so I could get to the bottom shelf when I heard a man’s voice saying good morning to me. I quickly got up and returned his greeting as I kept searching for the best deal. I got up because I get on guard when men get close to me and I wanted to let him know I wasn’t taking any mess from him. He then turned to ask me if he could ask me a question. No, I don’t usually talk to men but I looked at him squarely and said yes. That is because I needed to be able to identify him in case he tried to do something to me. I had my eye on my purse and him. Although I towered over him, a man is still a man.

He asked me if I was Muslim and I answered to the affirmative. He then asked me what was my concept of “the mirror”. Not ever having heard that phrase before I told him I didn’t know what he meant. He was trying to ask me what do Muslims believe in regards to creation. I explained to him that we believe Allah created everything and we follow His command. He started saying how he believed God created everything as well and how he believed God opened up his heart to see the beauty of His creation.

He asked me about terrorism and why it was that there seemed to be so much killing and negativity coming out of Islaam. I explained to him that in everything and in every place there are ideals and there are those who fall short of reaching those ideals. I told him that Muslims fall short just like anyone else. We are human. I told him I am just an every day mom that takes care of my family. I called him to think about the fact that if Islaam were truly rooted in terrorism that with such a large Muslim population in America, surely terrorism would happen on a daily basis. I told him I am a normal person and so are other Muslims. I want to be treated like a human being just like the next person. He understood that and agreed.

He asked me about the foundationary beliefs of Islaam so I told him about the five pillars. I told him that when Muslims get away from the foundation or the usool of Islaam and start to make other things, such as political agendas, more important, it causes a major shift away from the true principles and teachings of Islaam. Hence people transgress bounds. He really seemed to understand that. I also told him that people the world over are living in extreme poverty and due to that, many have become extremely frustrated and they live in a constant state of despair. I told him due to this, people may resort to drastic measures that don’t at all help to alleviate their problems, in fact it increases them. He seemed to really understand my short explanation. He thanked me for my time and left. Another great opportunity to correct someone’s misunderstanding of Al Islaam. But the key here is that he came seeking answers. He didn’t come with hate and prejudice. May Allah guide him to Islaam allahumma ameen.

So that is what has happened to me lately. What about you?